Just For Laugh

DON’T LOOK AT NAKED LADY
Boy 1: Why do you run from a naked lady?
Boy 2: Becos my mum said that if I look at a naked lady, I’ll turn into stone. A part of me is getting hard already!

NAMES OF WIVES
A malay man had 4 wives, and he called his…
4th wife….. baby doll
3rd wife….. china doll
2nd wife…..barbie doll
1st wife….. panadol !

HOW INDIA GOT ITS NAME
This is how India got its name…..
The king was having sex with his mistress while thinking a name of his country and his mistress ask him “is it In Dear?”…

RESEARCH FINDING
Research shows men are fatter than women because
every-night men get fresh milk & 2 papayas
women only get 1 banana, 2 peanuts & 1 tea-spoon of starch!

ARAB MAN
An arab was being interviewed at a US checkpoint.
‘Your name pls.’?
“Abdul Aziz ”
“Sex? ”
“Six times a week!! ”
“No, no, I mean male or female! ”
“Doesn’t matters, sometimes even camel !”

SERVICE
Sex is like a restaurant.
Sometimes you get full satisfactory service, and sometimes you have to be satisfied with self-service”

HAPPY MAN
What makes a happy man?
Daughter on the cover of cosmo.
Son on the cover of sports illustrated.
Mistress on the cover of playboy
and .. Wife on the cover of “missing persons”

SWIMSUIT
Why was the 2-piece swimsuit invented?
To separate the HAIRY section from the DAIRY section.

GOOD AMBITION
Teacher: What do you want to become?
Little Johnny: Doctor !!
Teacher: Why?
Little Johnny: Coz its the only profession where u can tell a woman to take off her clothes and ask her husband to pay for it.

DENTIST
Woman complaining to dentist: “It’s so painful, I’ll rather have a baby than have a tooth removed.”
Dentist: “Make up your mind soon, I’ll adjust the chair accordingly.”

VIRGIN
Old lady, 85, a virgin, about to die. wanted her tombstone to read :
BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN.
The engraver shortened it to: ” RETURNED UNOPENED ”

OLD MAN AND YOUNG GIRL
75 yr old man got married to a 15 yr girl.
On their first night both were crying – why???
Coz she didn’t know anything, and he had forgotten everything.

Urat Mata Kanan Bergerak

Ahad baru-baru nie 6/6/2010 aku bangun awal pagi. Sebab nak pergi kerja. Kemudian lepas mandi haper aku dapati Urat disekeliling mata kanan aku bergerak2 tanpa sebab. Orang kata kita akan jumpa orang yg dah lama tak jumpa. Ada kebenaranya tapi tiada bukit yg sintifik.

Kemudian petang tu aku pergi laa kenduri kawan sekelas aku kat Pasir Tumbuh. Dia memang undang aku dengan yang lain-lain. Sewaktu planning aku akan pergi bersama Mira dan jumpa kat Station minyak Shell sebelah Istana Kelantan. Tapi dia sms aku tak dapat pergi kerana emaknya sakit,so tak mengape lah kalau gitu. Aku pergi sorang2 jek lah. Lepas waktu kerja sekitar jam 5pm, aku terus pergi ke Pasir Tumbuh untuk menghadiri majlis perkahwinan kawan aku. Seb baik time tu dah tak ramai orang dh yang datang. Leh makan banyak sikit.

Aku pn sampai kt umah kawan aku dan sewaktu aku sampai tu, aku tengok seorang pakcik. Dia tengok aku,aku tengok dia. Dalam hati aku,adakah aku kenal pakcik ini? Dia senyum kat aku jek nih. Dia pn tegur aku, "Dah lama ke sampai". Kemudian bru aku teringat dan syak something..Dia ini ialah

Bapak kepada Ex-GF aku yg telah tinggalkan aku 3 tahun yang lalu.

Aku pn mulai rasa tak senang duduk sebab selama ini aku sentiasa mengelak daripada melihat diaorang. Klu korang nak kata aku ini jahat ke haper ke,sukahati korag lah kerana aku merasa benci apabila melihat diaorang dan benci kerana apa yang mereka telah buat kepada aku 3 tahun lepas. Dan still membara dalam hati ini. Sebab itu apabila aku balik kerja, lalu depan umah diaorang,aku tak pandang langsung umah diaorang. Coz i really hate them. Honestly,even it has pass over 3 years.Seperti yang Hakita bagitau aku, kalau sesuatu perhubungan tak menjadi, men take the blame 100%. Sampai sekarang aku masih terasa semua kesalahan-kesalahan seperti setia disaat akhir,menjalankan hubungan yang serious dan sebagainya aku seorang yang tanggung. Hampir gila aku dibuatnya. Namun aku semakin pulih disebabkan DIA...

Back to our short story, aku yang sampai dahulu,kemudian diaorang smapai. Aku ambil laa makanan dahulu, dan duduk, kemudian bapak ex-gf aku smpi dan tegur aku. Dia pn ambil makanan dan terus datang duduk disebelah aku. Dalam hati aku,marsyallah,kenapa laa dia perlu datang duduk disebelah aku. Tempat lain kan kosong,aku sudah tiada kaitan dengan korang. Dalam saat itu, aku menjadi serba salah antara Menghormati Orang-Orang Tua dan Membenci Bekas Bakal Mertua aku terdahulu yang telah buat aku merana sampai sekarang. Tapi sikap aku yang Menghormati Orang Tua mendahului sikap benci aku terhadap mereka,mengatasi segalanya2. Walaupn aku hanya bertanya 1 soalan sepanjang 30minit duduk bersama, tp aku tetap dingin dengan diaorang. Lepas makan dan minum,aku terus menghulur tangan aku bersalam untuk minta diri. Klu aku ini menjadi kurang ajar sesangat memang aku dah tak salam dah dengan diaorang.Aku blah cm tu jek.

Lepas salam,aku pn salam dengan abg dan bagi senyuman kambing masak gulai kepada mak ex-gf aku. Kemudian aku masuk dalam umah dan jumpa classmate aku....kira tunjuk muka laa sebelum balik. Tanda aku datang kerumahnya. Lepas tu aku pn blah cepat2...Namau lagi aku jumpa dengan orang tua....

Memang betul juga orang-orang tua kata kalau Urat mata kanan bergerak tanda akan berjumpa dengan orang yang jauh, tp bukan mereka yang aku nak jumpa. Mereka yang aku benci

Balik Pukul 2,3 pagi!!!

Tadi on the way aku balik ke rumah,ada laa aku dengar satu radio x-fresh kot. Satu rancangan mengenai ala-ala nak kenakan orang laa.Tapi bukan rancangan mengenakan masyarakat,tp mengenakan pasangan orang yang bercinta, ada pakwe dan ada makwe dan ada Dr. Love sebagai pemain peranan mengenakan dengan orang tersebut.

Yang menarik perhatian aku tentang rancangan ini tadi, Dr. Love mengaku abang kepada seorang makwe, so kira Dr. Love ini call pakwe dia ini nak warning ke haper benda aku pn tak tahu laa...katanya pakwe dia nie bawak balik awek dia sampai kul 2@3 pagi. Kemudian si pakwe itu pn balas balik laa,selama ini mak bapak dia tak bising, abang dia pulak yang bising. Si pakwe ini sebenarnya panas baran. Time tepon bunyi cm gengster jek,cakap "Lu","Gua" dan sebagainya...

Yang membuat aku termenung, orang zaman sekarang dah tak seperti orang zaman dahulu. Kemana hilangnya sikap orang Melayu kita. Bawak kuar awek sampai pukul 2,3 pagi. Parent pulak tidak peduli anak perempuannya kuar sampai kul 2,3 pagi. Jikalau perkara ini benar-benar berlaku, dan aku percaya perkara ini betul-betul berlaku dikalangan masyarakat kita, apa yang akan terjadi? Pakwe melawan balik kata-kata abg makwe ini. Elok kah orang ini dijadikan pakwe seterusnya dijadikan suami? Adakan makwe ini hanya mahu setakat pakwe-makwa...tidak mahu sampai ke jinjang pelamin?

What happen to our culture?

What Happend To Our Friendship

Tibanya hari pertabalan member-member menjadi suami dan isteri kepada pasangan masing-masing. Aku bukan nak cerita tentang pasal pertabalan,cuma aku ingin meminta pendapan para bloggers kita apa yang patut dan apa yang tak patut. Ini berkenaan tentang jemputan majlis oleh orang ke-3

Al-kisahnya begini laa...aku ada laa sorang member yang akan melangsungkan perkahwinannya pada 6/6/2010. So dia mintak laa tolong aku bagitau kepada member-member sekelas supaya hadir ke majlis perkahwinannya. Just in-case ada kawan-kawan lama yang telah lost contact dia nk jemput jugak lah. Kawan aku ini ada bernama Fadzilah...betul ke nama dia nie atau nama Fadilah.Tp aku panggil Dillah jek senang...lantak lah,hehe...

Kemudian aku send laa sms kat member-member semua,ada yang kata akan pergi dan ada yang kata tak dapat pergi walaupn tak dijemput oleh tuan empunya sendiri kerana urusan peribadi.Itu tak mengape laa...

Kemudian ada sorang kawan aku nih, headclass time sekolah menengah jugak laa,terkejut gak aku dgr jawapannya. Dia kata dia tak nak pergi sebab tuan empunya tak jemput direct kepada dia. Dia kata dia malu laa sbb Dillah nie tak jemput dia,tp hanya jemput aku jek. Wahal,kawan aku dilah nie,xde contact dengan Headclass aku nih,klu ada contact tu pn wallahualam laa.

So,persoalan aku sekarang nie, kenapa jadi cm ginie? Kawan-kawan sekelas masa sekolah menengah,tp tidak mahu pergi kerana tidak dijemput secara terus...tapi kawan-kawan aku yg lain beriya-iya nak pergi walaupn dijemput oleh 3rd party. Tapi kalau tak bagitau pulak, nanti kata "Sampai hati kawen tak bagitau langsung,sampai hati tak jemput" Tapi bila dh dibagitau kemudian dijemput,kata cm tu pulak. Adakah ini alasan korang tak nak pergi kemajlis pertabalan member-member @ korang pernah suatu masa ketika dahulu ada scandal?

he Dangers of Using a Debit Card

Consumers need to be particularly careful during vacation season because identity thieves come out in droves. That makes it pivotal that consumers keep their debit cards on ice, said Beth Givens, director of the Privacy Rights Clearing House and one of the nation's foremost experts on keeping your private information private.

What makes debit cards so dangerous? Givens has so many reasons, her organization has put out an exhaustive fact sheet on whether you should use cash, credit or debit cards when shopping. (The report also explains the shortcomings of gift cards.)

Here's the short version of the dangers of debit:

1. Loss Limits

Like credit cards, federal law limits your liability for fraudulent transactions on a debit card to $50. But that's only if you notify your financial institution within two days of discovering the theft. If you're a space cadet and don't check your bank statements for a couple of months, you could lose everything.

2. Pay Now/Reimburse Later

If someone has fraudulently used your credit card, you don't have to pay the charge. But when somebody has fraudulently used your debit card, the money comes directly out of your account in real time. That means you're out the money while the bank does a leisurely examination of their records to investigate your fraud claim. Many consumers complaining to Privacy Rights Clearing House said they lost access to their funds for several weeks. In the meantime, they were caught short and unable to pay their bills, Givens said.

3. Merchant Disputes

The same problem affects merchant disputes. If you pay with a credit card when ordering something online, and that product comes damaged, broken or not at all, you can dispute the charge and stop payment with your credit card. If you used your debit card, the charge is paid when you made the order. By the time you find out the goods weren't what was advertised, the merchant has your cash and you're in the unenviable position of having to fight to get your money back.

4. Phantom Charges

If you use a credit card at a hotel, the hotel takes an imprint when you check in, but doesn't charge your card until you check out. It's a far different story with a debit card. Generally, hotels will put a “hold” on funds in your account for more than you're spending. Yes, more. They hold the full amount of your stay, plus an estimated amount for “incidentals,” such as meals at the hotel restaurant and dipping into the mini-bar. This is not an actual charge–the hold will come off your account at the end of your stay. But it affects the available balance in your checking account anyway and can lead to overdrafts. One consumer said these phantom charges cost him $140 in overdraft fees. These “holds” are commonly placed on debit card transactions made at hotels, gas stations and rental car companies.

5. Overdrafts, Overdrafts and More Overdrafts

Overdraft charges have been soaring in recent years and the vast majority of consumers who pay them explain that their overdraft was the result of a debit card transaction. Many consumers naively assumed that if they didn't have sufficient funds in their accounts, their bank wouldn't approve a debit swipe. But they were wrong. The result: a $4 coffee could trigger a $35 overdraft fee. Government regulators are reigning in these fees by demanding that banks give consumers a chance to “opt out” of automatic overdraft protection, but that doesn't start for existing accounts until August. (If you have a new account, it's starts in July.)

6. Skimming

Financial crooks have gotten sophisticated in recent years and are using “skimming” machines to read your card data and charge your account, Givens said. When your debit card is skimmed, your bank account can be drained before you know that you've been had.