Forgive Or Forget Or What Else ?

Esok 9/7 ialah birthday my ex-girlfriend which i still love her until today. We broke up in 11/1/07 because her family cannot afford to wait until I finish my study. Now she has engaged to someone else which I also don’t know who. After 11/1 until now I feel empty. Everyday I remember about her, wondering why she left me and choose someone else. Some of my friend said that she has someone else but I never think about that, I never ever doubt her because I trust her 100%. Finally I realize that she cannot be trust. She came from a poor family, but I don’t care about that, weather she came from poor or rich people as long she can love me.

My heart still hurt after what she and her family done to me, very painfull. Family dia kadang-kadang suka bercerita tentang hal-hal org kg dia,biasa lah anak beranak…that’s normal.

Let me describe about her family, lets start with her dad…ayah dia hanya kerja sebagai pembuat rumah a.k.a buruh biasa sahaja. Tp ayah dia ini agak pemalas, semua kerja nak senang dan bt kerja sekadar cukup makan sahaja. Emak dia pulak berkerja sebagai pembuat roti canai dihadapan Sek Ren Pasir Hor, mak dia nie org Thai, so taraf pemikiran dia agak rendah sedikit. Abg dia pula abis sekolah kat teknik,terus berkerja sebagai mekanik dia sebuah kedai repair lori. Adik dia yg 1^st, sekolah takat menengah jek,then terus kerja…asyik bertukar kerja.Adik yg 1^st nie suka bercerita hal-hal org. Mulut tak pernah diam…manakala adik dia yg bongsu,kira ok sikit…ada manja2 sikit ng mak dia.al maklum lah ank bongsu. Tp aku suka dengan adik dia sbb adik dia nie pandai sikit berbanding dgn yg lain-lain. Tapi aku tak peduli semua itu,taraf pendidikan atau taraf idup bukan jadi pengukur bagi aku,tp cara pemikiran dia masih berada zaman dahulu.

Sebelum ini aku tak tau samaada dia sengaja atau tidak sengaja, dimana dia terhantar/hantar sms mengatakan dia dpt pointer….. kemudian ada perkataan ‘ayang’, demit, that’s hurt me very much. Bila tau dia anta sms,aku terus del tanpa menreply atau menghantar balik. Tp kali ini,aku terus terbuka…dammit…that’s hurt very much. Then semasa dia hendak bertunang, dia ada terhantar atau sengaja hantar sms menjemput kerumah dia. Adik angkat aku agak confuse sbb ada nama samara yg hampir dengan nama aku…Then adik angkat aku bgtau aku….time tu lah time yg paling menyakitkan, perit tak terkata, but I don’t blame my sis because it’s not her fault. I know it.

My heart have been hurt for a several a month because I still love her and still angry with her and her family. So what should I do for her birthday tomorrow, should I wish to her or just leave it like nothing happen? Should I forgive her or not to forgive her? If I forgive her maybe i will not be so burden…Damn, I don’t know what im doing to do…So please give some comment and ur suggestion. It might be usefull to me